Desperation
by Immortal Horse
Summary: When Aida is gone, Zander is determined to bring her back. no matter the cost. but what happens when Tillie figures something is wrong? Will she be able to stop his descent? Ascension fanfic


**I do not own Ascension, and I never will. All rights go to Rinmaru (you can find her on deviantART)**

Desperation

….

"Desperation can make a man do many things, things he would never consider."

* * *

Zander looked over his carefully written notes and ritual circles. "Curse it all!" he grumbled, brow furrowing in concentration.

He tapped the quill against his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut, almost instantly an image of her came to his mind.

"Aida…" he whispered before snapping his eyes open once more. He had to do this… if only to see her again, to hear her voice again.

Turning back to the paper with his purpose renewed, Zander looked over the ritual circle once more.

"Maybe…" he murmured, grabbing a fresh sheet of parchment and quickly scribbling his thoughts onto it.

'Soon,' Zander thought in triumph, looking at the precious sheet of parchment. 'I'll see you again Aida…'

OOO

Zander looked behind him as he walked off the ship; he had arrived in Taran just moments ago and he could feel excitement almost bubble within him, finally, after nearly a month. He would be able to see Aida again.

The moon elf put up his hood and quickened his pace; he could barely wait to find somewhere he could bring Aida back.

OOO

Tillie frowned as she discreetly followed Zander; she knew him well enough to know that something was off when they last saw each other; he had circles under his eyes but an oddly triumphant look in his eye.

She really hoped that Zander wasn't going to do what she thought he was, but if he was… the thought made Tillie hurry up.

Tillie barely noticed the scenery as she ran, trying to keep up with the moon elf's long strides. At last, she saw him duck into an old, beaten down, abandoned hut.

For a few seconds, the ginger haired dwarf stood there, before she steeled her resolve and marched in there.

"Zander…" Tillie trailed off, taking in the sight of a ritual circle Zander was drawing on the floor. "Wha… WHAT THE H*** ARE YOU DOING?!" she yelled at the elf.

Zander looked up at her outburst. "Hello to you too Til," he told her.

Tillie glared at him fiercely. "That's a necromancy ritual circle," she said. "What the h*** are you doing with it?!"

"I'm bringing Aida back." Zander told her stubbornly.

"You can't!" Tillie exclaimed. She took a step closer. "That's a forbidden art! If you get caught…"

"Then I won't get caught," Zander told her dismissively. "I can't go on like this," he whispered, mostly to himself.

Tillie's face softened "I know how you feel…"

"NO! You don't!" Zander yelled. His magic began to swirl around him, blowing at his hair and clothes. "You couldn't possibly understand! Now, don't get in my way!"

Tillie's face flushed with anger, "I refuse to stand aside! What the h*** are you thinking?! You won't bring her back! You'll bring back her body, but it won't be Aida!"

Zander glared at her, grief, pain, anger and magic swirled in his eyes. "Yes, it will," he told her in a deadly calm voice. "I'll prove it to you Tillie." He moved to activate the circle, but Tillie was faster; she threw a potions vial at him. The vial hit just beneath him and created an explosion, ruining the circle.

"D****it Tillie!" Zander yelled angrily, he glared at her before hurling a fireball at her "get out of my way!"

Tillie ducked and pulled out her rarely used throwing knives. "I don't want to hurt you Zander, but I will if I have too!" she called to him in warning.

Zander glared and shot another fireball. "I can't give up! I won't give up!" he called out to the red haired dwarf.

Tillie sidestepped to the right, and then threw a knife with deadly accuracy. It hit Zander's shoulder, but he didn't react much, only pausing slightly in his attack to pull the knife out before throwing another fireball at Tillie.

The dwarf ducked and rolled as the fireball fly harmless over her, hitting the way behind her.

"D****it" Zander muttered, raising a hand to his face "Til…" he slurred before collapsing.

Tillie kept her knives up as she walked over to the moon elf's prone body. She sighed and shook her head "You, of all people, should know I coat my blade in a fast acting sleep potion," she paused "I'm so sorry Zander, but I cannot, will not, let you go through with this."

OOO

When Zander awoke, he was still lying in the hut, but all his research notes, the ritual circles were gone. Zander got to his knees as the reality of his situation hit him; he had lost Aida… again.

Tears welled up in his eyes and he did nothing to stop them. "Why?" he murmured "Why her?"

Then, as a broken dam, his emotions rushed out, all at once; Anger at himself for failing to protect her, anger at Tillie for stopping him, anger at Aida for not being careful enough and anger at Enanna for taking Aida away from him, grief for the loss of Aida and despair for what he had been about to do.

"WHY?!" he yelled out to the sky, not noticing his magic lashing out around himself, burning the hut and the surrounding area.

But nobody answered and Zander began to openly sob as rain began to pour down and put out the fire.

~fin~

**What do you think? How I see it, because of their stronger emotions, Mages would "bottle" them up to attempt to control them. But they would have an outburst and end up burning themselves.**

…

**For those of you who don't know about Ascension, it's a visual novel by Rinmaru (of Rinmarugames*dot*com) and it is awesome! However, only the first two chapters are up, but I suggest you play it.**

**If in chapter two, you chose to have fallen for Zander, he mentions that he dabbled in necromancy… so this was born.**


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